Think about the place on planet earth, today, this moment, where you would least like to visit. Where would it be? How 'bout Islamabad? Kashmir? Kandahar? Perhaps a visit to the Abu Sayyaf Group on Basilan Island in the Philippines? Mogadishu? How about an Al Queda training site just across the border of Afghanistan in Iran, where extremists may be plotting this very moment a dirty nuke attack on Disneyworld-simultaneously, perhaps, with an anthrax drop over Los Angeles from a small plane? Perhaps, you'd rather stay a little bit closer to home and visit parts of Idaho, touring the latest in bullet-proof fortresses built by radical white supremacists?
To gain even more understanding with regard to the Jonah story, it would be important for us to identify for ourselves personally, a group of people on our planet whom we hold in the least regard. This is particularly difficult for those folks referred to as "universalists," a term rooted in the belief that absolutely no one is off the radar screen for divine redemption- not drug-dealing gang-bangers, not murderous anti-abortionists, not killers of gays, not murderous terrorists, not bloody bank robbers in Nebraska, not the child-beating "video mom"-no one is off the radar for redemption. Yet, few of us can live up to that label, "universalist." For there may be UUs who are more comfortable considering the redemption of an Al Queda operative over the redemption of Rush Limbaugh or others of the radical right...! In the final analysis, it's really tough to be a "universalist."
And so, pick the place you would least like to visit, and pick the folks with whom you would least like to affiliate, and you will be getting close the how Jonah felt about going to the old capitol of Iraq, Nineveh.
Not only had the Assyrians, or ancient Iraqis, dealt brutally with Israel, and were forever mortal enemies, but there was one other key feature about being "called by God" to go there. Even if Jonah were successful in turning off the evil brewing in Iraq, such an act might stop their inevitable destruction which they had earned fair and square.
Therefore, to Jonah, going to Iraq to stop their evil, and thus spare them from righteous destruction, was a lousy plan. Playing in the Sodom and Gomorrah league, Iraq had earned being nuked by God, and they were going to get it. The last thing Jonah want to do with his life was to save his mortal and hated enemies from their just desserts-he'd rather die-a point made multiple times in Jonah's story----the account of the worst preacher of all time.
Jonah acted quickly when he perceived the call to go to Iraq. Immediately upon rising he made a bee-line straight to the seacoast town of Joppa. He was supposed to be going East. He bought a ticket for a boat going West, to Spain. He didn't get very far when hurricane "Gotcha" nearly destroyed the merchant vessel deep in which he was sleeping. The sailors threw overboard all their wares trying to keep the ship from breaking up and to float a bit higher on the waves. Then the mariners began praying to their gods, seeking survival. The captain finds Jonah and drags him to the deck. There is general concern that someone may have agitated the fates to cause such a storm. Dice are rolled to determine upon whose account their doom seems inevitable. The lot falls upon Jonah, who is quick to confess he may be the source of the problem-a Jew who has defied God.
They ask Jonah what to do as the boat is about to disintegrate in the face of larger waves. Jonah strongly recommends they toss him overboard to calm the seas. This seems unacceptable, and they row harder trying to get to land. It is futile. Finally, Jonah persuades them to give him the long walk on the short plank. They pray about it and finally toss him in. When his feet hit the water, the seas calm.
We are told God appoints a fish to be Jonah's hotel for awhile. Jonah is actively suicidal, trying to assure Iraq's destruction. Any negotiation to end their evil-doing, and thus destruction, was unacceptable. Splashing into the raging sea was a relief-Iraq would be destroyed.
Apparently, the fish stomach experience was tolerable to Jonah, as long as it was leading to his death. He didn't bother praying about it the first day and night. He also was quite comfortable about his death prospects the 2nd day and night, and then the 3rd day and night. What finally sparked Jonah to appeal to God was the incredibly miserable prospect he might actually survive this ordeal, re-presenting to him the same problem he was trying to escape.
And so, he finally agrees to play ball. The fish vomits him back upon the sand from which he started to run in the first place, and he begins trudging to Iraq-and not taking the scenic route. He arrives in downtown Nineveh looking like hell warmed-over. Most of his hair is digested off his skull. Much of his skin has sloughed off, his eyes are red, he really stinks, he's really torqued off, and he's suicidal.
Perhaps, in attempting to be a failure, he abandons any finesse in his presentation, and we are told he utters only 5 Hebrew words meaning, "40 days and Nineveh's toast." Whether due to his appearance or voice inflections, the 5 words he uttered were absolutely convincing. (Today, news on the internet indicated President Bush is proposing the "7 days and Iraq will be destroyed" technique. It is not clear it will have the same effect Jonah had. What may be clear, however, is that like Jonah, "turning from their evil ways" is not what he expects, and even more like Jonah, perhaps not what he really wants.)
Word spreads throughout Nineveh to repent. The King hears about Jonah's prophecy and immediately gets out of his royal clothes, puts on sackcloth, and jumps into a pile of ashes. The population follows suit. For extra measure, the animals are brought into the repentance ritual-covered in sackcloth and ashes. The population and the animals fast and do not even drink water. Jonah is disgusted with the sight of his mortal enemies, whom he "dis's" to the max, going through such sacred rituals. Perhaps, it would be like us watching the congress and senate swear off all soft money, not take a dime from lobbyists, not touch the interns, and conscientiously create fully-funded social and medical programs-yeah, right!
Jonah hikes out east of town and perches himself in a nice position to watch the mushroom cloud. He sits there watching and waiting, and waiting, and nothing happens. It appears God changed plans in the face of the enemy's repentance. Jonah is enraged-he was afraid this would happen. God causes a plant to grow over Jonah's head to protect him from the sun as he gazes at the city. Jonah calms down a little bit. Then God causes a worm to destroy the plant the next morning, and sends a scorching sirocco wind from the East to wither the plant away. The sun then strikes Jonah in its fullest intensity and he becomes faint. Jonah goes ballistic-this is the last straw. He declares, "It is better for me to die than to live."
God then marvels at how Jonah was more concerned about the plant's dying, than about saving the lives of thousands of people and animals. Jonah never gets it....
There are a lot of ways one can miss the points of the Jonah story. Literalist commentators get lost trying to figure out what type of fish or whale must have been involved, the pH of fish stomachs, how to get oxygen underwater, and how to avoid getting decompression sickness. How edifying!
Politically and theologically, this story about an ancient Jonah actually emerges in post exilic times, when Jewish nationalism was becoming oppressively racist. Two stories emerge in one, demonstrating the religious conscientiousness of gentile sailors in the first half, and in the Iraqis the second half. Jonah, though a devout Jew, is a bigot, a misguided, detached, aloof narcissist, whose personal grace and mercy fall far short of the divine standard.
From a personal standpoint, the story illustrates how all of us have a little bit of Jonah in us. And some of us have a lot of Jonah in us. We go along with our lives, doing just fine-thank you very much, when suddenly, we're dissatisfied. Something is missing. What we are all about no longer seems adequate or satisfying or fulfilling or meaningful.
Eventually, we sort out what our Nineveh is all about, but it is an unacceptable proposition. We have jobs to attend to. Some of us may have children to raise. We have other family members who need us now. And besides, what can we really do about the chaos in our world?
We catch a glimpse of what our highest calling may be, but it isn't what he had hoped-it somehow goes against the grain. Why should we sacrifice so much when in the long run it won't make any difference anyway? We scramble to convince ourselves the result of our vision won't happen in our lifetimes-and especially, not in MY lifetime, not with MY life.
At this point in time, we may become even more like Jonah. Having made up our minds to go West when we are called East, life somehow gets unbearable. The routine not longer stimulates and is no longer meaningful. Storms of existential anxiety may lead to anhedonia, the loss of pleasurable experiences in our lives. The sense of going nowhere invalidates our sense of self. The resulting chaos and purposelessness can make even death look like a pretty good deal. We deal with it, or we don't.
The paths to inauthentic existence are scenic routes to callings we choose never to actualize. What we miss in the Jonah story as kids, is that Jonah really liked being submerged in the fish's belly. As adults, we can finally make sense of it. If this makes any sense to you today, just say "Amen"